When Your Life Changes

When I started this post, its title was "Dreams" and here is what I had written:

To be honest, as I'm starting, I don't really know where this post might lead to.  I apologize in advance if it appears as just the ramblings of some flighty dreamer.

I've mentioned before that I have lots of interests.  Having so many interests causes me to dream of other ways to be making a living.  Of course in my dreams, these other ways always seem to be more profitable than what I'm currently doing which certainly wouldn't be the case for a lot of them.  For instance, one thing that is very important to me is the advocacy for respect of ALL people.  To have a career with this as the main function, I believe it would most likely fall under social work and we all know that makes no one rich. 

But a dream is just that...a dream.  When hearing that, some people might take me to be saying that a dream being just a dream means that it isn't a viable career option and that isn't it at all.  I just mean that while it is a conception in our head, we can make it have all the desirable aspects we want it to have.

One of my interests for the past couple of years has been fitness.  In the beginning when I was doing a lot of reading and research on the topic, I ran across the word "intrinsic". If you are doing something that is intrinsic, you are doing something that comes natural to you.  It takes no force, effort, or outward reward to get you to do it.  For some people, working out is intrinsic.  Their body naturally craves it.  This does not mean that the workout itself takes no effort; on the contrary, it may take all the effort they can muster.  When we say no effort we are talking about to actually attempt the action.  Although there is the obvious reward of good health, positive self esteem, a good nights sleep, a person who finds working out an intrinsic activity does not need to be told, "If you workout every night this week, you can eat the birthday cake this weekend."

Although I learned about the idea of something being intrinsic through fitness, it applies to everything.  I've heard it be said that you know you love what you do for a living if you don't think of it as "going to work" but as in going to do your hobby.  If you would continue to do what you do for a living with out getting paid, your career is intrinsic to you.  

I had paused here for a couple of days to contemplate what I was going to say next...

And then I got laid off.  My position at my full time job was eliminated.

If you have ever heard those words, "your position has been eliminated," you know that feeling of pure and utter shock.  One of those moments when you think, "Did I just hear that right?" or "Is this really happening to ME?"  The feeling that your floor just really fell right out from underneath you.

If you have not experienced this, let me prepare you.  Panic.  That is what you feel.  Panic.  Especially when it happens on a Friday and you have a very necessary bathroom remodel starting on Monday.

It's only been 3 work days since it happened.  On Friday before it happened, I was frustrated because I had been setting some goals for saving money and while I'm a planner and list maker, saving money doesn't work that way.  When I set a goal, I totally enjoy working towards that goal while marking things off my list.  Or doing something every day to advance that goal. When your goal is to save money, you actually do the exact opposite.  You do NOTHING every day!  At least that is what it feels like.  Everything costs money.  When you are trying to save, you make a list of your bills, you make a list of the money you have coming in, you write a budget, and then you sit tight until its time to pay bills.  That is all you do when saving money...nothing and pay bills.

So, now I have a new fear.  And honestly its the fear of the unknown.  Maybe things won't change much in the end.  Again, it is only 3 days in.  I have no idea what is to come.  Decisions need to be made.

One thing is for sure, I have some very interesting times ahead.  And, I guess its time to really think about those dreams.

Slutty Brownies - Don't Judge Me!

Josh and I had a very productive day today.

As usual, the Saturday started with Josh making us a breakfast of bacon and eggs while I cuddled with my coffee, kitty, and kindle.  This is usually how I would have liked to spend the whole weekend, but there were things that needed to get done.

I've been putting off getting MUCH needed tires so after breakfast I went and got the back ones replaced.  The front ones need it too, but I wasn't sure how much I was going to be spending so we went with the ones that were an immediate need.  I will get the other two replaced before the weather gets bad.

Back when we got our new tv and had our DVR replaced, we also had to upgrade our internet modem.  We  had gotten it in the mail a couple of months ago, but I LIVE on the internet at home and was nervous about switching them out and causing problems with an internet service that was working so well so far.  But, we've started getting emails and phone calls saying that we MUST hook up our new modem because very soon the old one was going to be incompatible with the service.  So, I hooked that up.  It didn't go as smooth as I would like but it is hooked up and working now and we've gotten almost all of our devices hooked up to the new wireless gateway.

I try to follow a pretty paleo/whole 30 lifestyle for the most part.  For those not familiar with the lifestyle it is grain and sugar free (this is a VERY basic explanation and not even close to a full one...but these are the two aspects that I personally try to avoid).  However, occasionally there are indulgences (I've had quite a few lately unfortunately and need to get back on track).

I'm sure that everyone has seen the video of the recipe for Slutty Brownies going around.  I've also seen them called Better Than Sex Brownies.  Well, these look like something that Josh would absolutely LOVE and he has been working so hard around the house with my back being bad, the normal things he would typically do, and then also helping his parents with some remodeling of their house so I decided that I wanted to make these for him.  Oh my goodness!  They turned out so well and I am a super hero this evening.

They are super easy to make:

First you spread chocolate chip cookie dough in the bottom of a greased pan and then on top of that put a layer of Oreo cookies.  I just used the pre-made dough of chocolate chip cookies.

Then you make a brownie mix and pour it on top of the Oreos and chocolate chip cookies.  I think that you are supposed to use an ultra chocolaty brownie mix, but I just went with a milk chocolate one because this was already going to be too much chocolate for me.

A friend of mine had already made these and said they were very rich and some ice cream probably would have helped with that.  Well, who am I to say no to ice cream  :)  That is usually our dessert of choice for the weekend.

So, the slutty brownies were a big hit.

Josh also spent his day taking care of business.  First he went and got new filters for the furnace.  He mowed the lawn and took care of some out of control foliage in the backyard.  Rizzoli has been sitting in the windows in the backside of the house watching him.  I'm sure she is loving the sun coming in.  Josh came in the house just a bit ago and she went kind of nuts.  She started smelling his pant legs and then started batting at them.  He kind of shook her off and went to the fridge to get a glass of water.  Rizzoli followed him, sniffing at his legs and then started biting his pant legs.  He definitely smelled like trees to me.  But where he was cutting we often see bunnies out there.  I wonder if he got some bunny scent on him that she was smelling.  At any rate, I've never seen her act that way.

Josh is finishing picking up what he cut down and then is going to be putting steaks on the grill.  Don't know how much more time we are going to have to be grilling out.  Of course almost the middle of October you would say probably not very much longer, but with the weather as it has been, you really just can't say. 

This is how we ended our day.  A good meal (on our fine china), great dessert, cuddled up in blankets and watching How To Get Away With Murder & The Bastard Executioner.

Oh...and poor Rizzoli.  She didn't get a lot of cuddles and loving today.  Josh realized that what she was trying to get off his pants by biting at them was a purple berry of some kind off the tree.  Not knowing what it was, we didn't want her to continue getting it in her mouth.  So when she tried to sit on Josh's lap while he was eating, he shooed her away.  She seemed to get her feelings hurt. 

Adulting

You know, the trendy new way to say being responsible.

I know it has been a couple of weeks since I posted.  It's because I've been adulting.  Okay, more having adulting thoughts with some adulting action.

My brain has been full with adulting thoughts and let me tell you, it's exhausting.

Because I was so overwhelmed with these thoughts, I had no idea what I wanted to blog about.  I still don't, but felt I needed to get a post out.

So...here are some topics and thoughts in general that have consumed me.  (Not all of them because I'm keeping some of the more personal or undecided thoughts to myself.)

• I've seen a lot of aggressiveness towards people who get offended by something in social media.  Isn't this a good thing? Doesn't this mean that people care about something?  And don't we need  more people caring about something?
• Politics - and not one side.  Everyone seems to think everything is black or white, and in reality, very little is anything but grey.
• Learning what it is that makes you happier or what would make you happier.
• Healthcare - the system sucks.
• Mean people also suck.
• Why can't I rescue all the needy cats and dogs?
• Is there a rich family out there that would like to adopt me?  (My parents would be okay with it it at this point as long as you are REALLY rich.  LOL)

Okay, I realize that none of these are things that should consume my brain completely, but this is not the full list.  Miraculously, when I want to think of it all, most escape me.  

Here are some pictures I took while I've been gone.